Udlame olususelwa ebulilini lungenzeka kunoma imuphi umphakathi, ngisho nasemazweni acebe kakhulu nentando yeningi. Lokhu kwakha i- inkinga enkulu yezenhlalo nokwephulwa kwamalungelo abantu besifazane. Ngokwemininingwane ye-UN, cishe abesifazane abangama-35% bahlupheka ngohlobo oluthile lokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba noma ngokocansi kukho konke ukuphila kwabo. Kwamanye amazwe isibalo sikhuphukela kuma-70%.
Izibalo ziyethusa futhi, yize ohulumeni abaningi sebethatha izinyathelo zokuqeda udlame olubhekiswe kwabobulili obufanayo, izinkulungwane zokufa kwabesifazane ziyaqhubeka ukwenzeka unyaka nonyaka emhlabeni ezandleni zabantu. Kepha lokhu kuyisiqeshana seqhwa kuphela, ubuso obusabeka kakhulu futhi obubonakalayo benkinga obuvame ukuqala ukuthuthuka ngendlela ecashile kakhulu nengabonakali.
Ukuhlukunyezwa kwabesifazane kunezindlela eziningi. Ukubulala, ukushaya noma ukuhlukumeza ngokocansi kuyizindlela ezisobala zokuhlukumeza, kodwa kukhona ezinye izinhlobo eziningi ezingabonakali kangako futhi ezingamukelekile emphakathini okungaholela ezimweni ezibucayi kakhulu. Kepha, ngaphandle kokufinyelela ezimweni ezimbi kakhulu, akekho owesifazane okufanele abekezelele noma yiluphi uhlobo lokuhlukunyezwa noma ukuphathwa kabi, noma ngabe kuncane kangakanani.
Njengomphakathi, kubalulekile ukuthi sisebenze ukuze ukuphathwa kabi nokufa kwabantu besifazane ezandleni zamadoda kungaqhubeki nokuphindaphindwa futhi kuqhutshekiselwe phambili. Kepha akwanele ukushiya wonke umsebenzi kohulumeni. Imfundo iqala emndenini futhi thina, njengomama nobaba, sinomthwalo omkhulu wokuvimbela izingane zethu ukuthi zingalingisi noma zibe abahlanganyeli ezimeni ezinodlame.
Ingxenye enhle yabantu abadala okuzoba yizingane zethu kuzoya ngendlela abakhuliswe ngayo. Izindlela eziningi zokuziphatha ezinodlame noma ezithobayo zimane nje ziyizenzo ukuphindaphindwa kwamaphethini asungulwe ebuntwaneni ukuthi umhlukumezi noma umuntu ohlukunyezwayo uphila njengokwemvelo. Ngalesi sizathu, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi izingane zethu ziphile ubuntwana obusekelwe othandweni, ekulinganeni nasekuhloniphweni kwabanye abantu nakubo uqobo.
Umsebenzi awulula neze, ikakhulukazi ngoba yize kunentuthuko, siyaqhubeka nokuphila emphakathini onabantu abaningi, lapho imiyalezo etholwa khona ivame ukuphikisana nalokho esifuna ukukufaka ezinganeni. Ngokwethu, sifake ngaphakathi imibono eminingi, ukubandlulula kanye nezinkambiso zobulili. Ngakho-ke, futhi njengoba siyinkomba yezingane zethu, kufanele siqale ukuzibuza futhi sazi ngakho ezimpilweni zethu zansuku zonke.
Yini esingayenza ukufundisa izingane zethu ngokulingana ngokobulili?
Khombisa izingane zethu ukuthi sizithanda ngaphezu kwakho konke okunye.
Ingane ekhuliswe ngothando nangenhlonipho, ifunda ukuthi uma umuntu emthanda, uyamkhathalela, uyamtotosa futhi ayisekele, ngaphandle kokuphathwa kabi, ukusongelwa noma ukujeziswa. Ngale ndlela, kusungulwa isibopho esivikelekile esizobenza basethembe njengomama nobaba futhi bazi ukuhlukanisa empilweni yabantu abadala, luyini uthando lweqiniso kulokho okungekho. Ngokunjalo, bazoba nokuzethemba okungcono okuzojabulisa labo abazizwa bekufanele ukuthandwa futhi bakwazi ukubeka imingcele noma benqabe izimo lapho bengazizwa kahle khona.
Mababone ukuthi umama nobaba bayafana futhi bayahloniphana.
Ubaba ohlonipha umama ufundisa amadodana akhe ukwenza okufanayo namadodakazi akhe ukuthi angabemukeli ubudlelwano bolunye uhlobo. Umama ozenza ahlonishwe noma owazi ukuthi ubuqede nini ubudlelwano ufundisa izingane zakhe ukuthi yini eyamukelekayo noma engamukeleki ebudlelwaneni.
Uma izingane zibona ukuthi bobabili umama nobaba bayabanakekela, babaphekele ukudla, benze imisebenzi yasendlini, futhi bobabili babhekene nemfundo yabo noma nezinkinga zezempilo, ukukhula endaweni yokulingana nokubambisana.
Gwema ukujeziswa ngokomzimba noma okunye.
Lapho sishaya noma sijezisa izingane zethu sikhombisa ukuthi ukuxazulula izingxabano, kufanele sisebenzise ukuphoqa, ukukhohlisa noma ukuziphindiselela, kunokuqonda nangokuxoxisana.
Kwazise futhi ukwazise ubunikazi bakho
Ukufundisa izingane ukuzithanda njengoba zinjalo nokuthi njengabantu banenani elihlukile, kungakhathalekile ubulili babo, ukubukeka komzimba noma ezinye izici, kuzoba wusizo kakhulu njengabasha nasebekhulile, ngoba ngeke basizwe isidingo sokufuna amamodeli noma izinkomba ezizongena kuzo. Ukuzethemba nokuzethemba kuyithuluzi elibalulekile ekulweni nodlame.
Balekela izindima zobulili.
Umuntu kufanele abheke noma iyiphi ikhathalogi yamathoyizi noma abone ukukhangisa kuthelevishini ukuze akubone ukuthi izinkolelo ezigxilile nezindima zobulili kumphakathi wethu. Amakhasi anikelwe amantombazane agcwele imibala ebomvana, onodoli, ama-crib, amakhishi namamops, kuyilapho amakhasi anikezelwe ezinganeni ethambekele ekubuseni amathoni aluhlaza namathoyizi anjengezimoto, izinto ze-DIY noma ezinye ezinolaka kakhulu, ngisho nolaka kakhulu izikhali.
Izikhathi eziningi ngabazali ngokwabo abathuthukisa lezi zinkolelo ngezenzo ezibonakala zimsulwa njengokuthi, ngokwesibonelo, ukukhomba amadodakazi ethu kwi-ballet noma i-gymnastics enesigqi namadodana ethu ebholeni lezinyawo noma kwikarati.
I-cinema nayo ayinikeli ekuqedeni lezi zindima. Kujwayelekile ukuthi abalingiswa besilisa babe ngamadoda anamandla ahamba nokusiza intombazane noma inkosazana engenakuzisiza, kuyilapho abalingiswa besifazane imvamisa bengabesifazane, behle kakhulu, benokhalweni lomnyovu futhi belinde ukutakulwa yiqhawe labo.
Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukuthi sikhulume nezingane zethu. Akukhona ukuthi sivimbela yonke into kusukela, ngenhlanhla noma ngeshwa, lokhu kungumhlaba ebesihlala kuwo, kepha thina ubafundise ukugxeka nokwazi ukuzenzela izinqumo ngaphandle kwamaphethini umphakathi ositshela wona.
Qinisekisa imizwa yakho, izifiso nemizwa yakho
Kumele sishiye izingane zethu baveze imizwa yabo, izintandokazi noma intukuthelo. Imishwana enjengamadoda ayikhali noma amantombazane kumele akhombise ubumnandi, aqhubeka kuphela nokuqhubekisela phambili amagama nokukhuthaza ukungalingani.
Izingane kufanele zivunyelwe ukuxhumana nemizwa yazo futhi ziyiveze kusukela ebuntwaneni. Bafundise ukuthi ukwesaba, amahloni, intukuthelo noma ukungazethembi kuyimizwa evumelekile futhi engokwemvelo kumuntu. Le yindlela esibafundisa ngayo veza izidingo zakho ngoba bafunda ukubuza noma ukwenqaba izinto, noma ngabe ziphikisana nezidingo zabanye.
Khuthaza ukuzimela nokuncika kwamanye amazwe.
Kubalulekile ukuthi izingane zethu zifunde ukuzimela futhi zixazulule izimo zodwa. Kepha kubalulekile ukuthi qaphela lapho udinga ukucela usizo futhi ungalindi ukuthi abanye bakunake bese bekuboleka.
Bafundise ukuthi akekho umuntu okufanele enze okuthile ngomzimba wakhe abangafuni ukukwenza.
Kufanele sifundise izingane zethu ukuthi imizimba yazo ngeyazo nokuthi akekho omunye umuntu onjalo. Akufanele neze baphoqwe ukuba benze into abangafuni ukuyenza, ngisho ukuqabula okungenacala esihlotsheni uma bengazizwa. Ngendlela efanayo, kufanele bazi ukuthi akudingeki benze noma yini kunoma ngubani abangazange banikeze imvume yokwenza kanjalo.
Khuthaza ukwenziwa kwezinqumo.
Akulula ukunqoba ukwesaba nesifiso sethu sokuvikelwa futhi sivumele izingane zethu zizinqumele. Kepha kuyinqubo edingekayo ukuze ama-se babe ngabantu abadala abazimele nabaxhumene nezidingo zabo.
Ukuvumela izingane zikhethe izingubo zazo, zinqume ukuthi iziphi izinto ezizozijoyina, ukuthi zisiphatha kanjani isikhathi sazo ngokuzibophezela noma lapho kufanele ziveze khona uthando noma cha, lokho ukusebenzisa okuncane okukhuthaza amakhono okwenza izinqumo empilweni yabantu abadala.
Xhumana nezingane zethu.
Ukuxhumana kuyisisekelo sobuhlobo obunempilo. Kungakho kudingekile ukuthi sikhulume nezingane zethu, sizenze zibambe iqhaza ezingxoxweni zethu futhi sabelane ngamaphuzu ethu nemibono yazo.
Bheka imvelo.
Ukwazi umphakathi esihlala kuwo kanye nemiyalezo yamehlo eza kithi evela kuwo kungenzeka kungasisizi ukuyigwema ngokuphelele, kepha kuyasikhuphula izingane ziyazi ukuthi linjani iqiniso futhi zibanikeza amathuluzi adingekayo okubhekana nazo.
Nakekela ulimi lwethu
Sikujwayele ukuzwa izinkulumo zamehlo zohlobo "wesifazane kwakufanele abe" ngaleyo ndlela kwesinye isikhathi asizinaki. Kodwa-ke, lapho sihlekisa ngabobulili obuhlukile, sigxeka noma sisebenzise izindima ezithile kwabesilisa nabesifazane, lokhu kungena kokungazi kwengqondo kwezingane zethu futhi zigcina zikubheka njengokujwayelekile. Kungakho kubalulekile ukuthi ukhulume nabo ubachaze ukuthi lezi zinhlobo zezisho azihlekisi noma ziyiqiniso.
Bazise ukuthi abesifazane nabesilisa abafani kodwa thina sinamalungelo afanayo
Kumele sibalekele ukulingana okungaqondakali. Abesilisa nabesifazane abahlukile, hhayi ngokwenyama kuphela kodwa nangokomzwelo. Kepha lokho akusho ukuthi asikwazi ukufaka isicelo semisebenzi efanayo noma senze imisebenzi efanayo. Umehluko yinto eyodwa nokungalingani kungenye impela. Abesilisa nabesifazane bayalingana phambi komphakathi futhi sinamalungelo nemisebenzi efanayo. Kepha ngaphezu kwakho konke, abesilisa nabesifazane, singabantu abakhululekile, abafanelwe uthando nenhlonipho.
Khuluma nabo ngezocansi.
Kubalulekile ukukhuluma nezingane zethu ngezocansi. Babonise umehluko phakathi kwabesilisa nabesifazane. Khuluma nabo ngemijikelezo yabesifazane, ukuya esikhathini, kanye nesifiso sobulili. Kwenze kucace kubo ukuthi uthando alufani nobulili nokuthi ucansi akumele luhlale luhambisana, inqobo nje uma kunokuhloniphana nokuvumelana. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kufanele bazi ukuthi Ukuvimbela ukukhulelwa kuyinto engabheki kuphela abesifazane kepha kumele kube umthwalo owabiwayo.
Njengoba ukwazi ukubona, kunezinto eziningi esingazenza emndenini ukugwema udlame lobulili. Njengomama nobaba singenza okusemandleni ethu ukukhulisa izingane zethu ngokulingana nangenhlonipho, esiza ukubenza bazi, babe nozwela futhi bahloniphe abantu abadala kusasa.